A Light Year Between Me And You
by rweoutofthewoods
Summary: Lance always wanted to go to space. He used to dream about it, read about it, and talk about it. So he thinks it's incredibly cruel that he went but can't remember. Lance has accepted that he'll never remember what happened, or why and how he left earth years prior. That is until some stroke of fate brings him to someone he used to know. He doesn't know if his memories are gone
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Déjà Vu**

Lance always wanted to go to space. He used to dream about it, read about it, and talk about it. He remembered being six years old and picking out blue glow-in-the-dark stars and plastic planets to stick on his bedroom ceiling. He remembered jumping up and down excitedly as his father stuck them up there. Once they were up Lance's father turned off the lights and pulled the curtains shut. Lance watched the little glowing stars thinking they were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Look," His papa whispered placing a hand on Lance's shoulder "now you have your very own solar system."

Lance loved those plastic stars. He fell asleep underneath them for years and years, growing up until he was tall enough to touch the stars that once seemed so far away. It gave him hope that one day he could touch the stars for real.

And maybe he did, who knew?

He remembered a lot of things about when he was young when his dream was nothing but a hope. The problem was after that, Lance didn't remember much.

He remembered getting his acceptance letter from the Garrison. He remembered going out to dinner with his whole family and that his parents cried. He remembered packing buzzing with nervous excitement. He remembered turning off his bedroom light and glancing at his blue stars one last time before shutting the door for the last time for many years. But after that moment, nothing.

Just blackness.

And logically Lance knows it's been years since he left for the garrison but it feels like it was only weeks ago because that's how Lance remembered it. One moment he was shutting his bedroom door the next he was waking up in a hospital surrounded by his family who was somehow older.

Apparently, he'd been to space. Some serious Garrison men had visited Lance in the hospital and told him so. Lance had been sneaking out with some friends and he got caught up in some conspiracy involving Takashi Shirogane, Lance had seen this Shirogane guy on TV before but that was all he knew of him.

The Garrison men told Lance that he'd disappeared into space with some of his classmates and then appeared alone a few weeks later crash landing in the desert in an escape pod from some foreign ship. He'd been in a coma for years after that, sleeping while the world burned.

And that was all they knew.

Lance wasn't sure if he believed them, something about it seemed off and so at first Lance searched for answers.

He researched Takashi Shirogane, apparently, he was the captain of The Atlas and the former leader of Voltron. His place as black paladin had been taken up by some guy named Keith Kogane who had led Voltron to victory over some aliens called the Galra.

Though, it seemed it had cost them because Voltron was now officially disbanded after losing two of it's paladins in the final battle.

There was no information on the other paladins, the two dead one nor the green and yellow paladins who were still alive. Lance looked but all the message boards and Voltron groups online said that the other paladins kept a low profile and anyone who knew their names were sworn to secrecy, and apparently information on the dead red and blue paladins was classified, kept under lock and key by the government.

So after a bunch of dead ends, Lance gave up. Maybe he had something to do with Takashi Shirogane, maybe he had some kind of connection to Voltron, maybe not. Eventually, Lance realized that it didn't matter.

Maybe he'd been to space, maybe he achieved his dream. But he was here now.

Lance had his family and his farm and he was happy.

He was happy despite the way his stomach dropped every time he saw Takashi Shirogane or Keith Kogane on TV. Despite how Veronica choked on her drink the one time Lance commented on Keith's awful mullet. Despite the yearning, he felt each time he looked up at the stars at night. Some reaching ache like he was missing something.

And it was cruel, it was so cruel that Lance had been to space and he couldn't remember, it was cruel that Lance didn't even know what or who he was missing.

So Lance stopped looking at the stars, and he stopped watching the news the day it was announced that Keith Kogane was leaving earth to run relief missions with the Blade of Marmora, Lance cried, he didn't know why.

Two years passed and Lance was happy, he told himself he was content to live his life like this. Until one fateful day, Lance was on the road for an agriculture conference in Texas when he decided to stop by and pay Veronica a visit.

He knew Veronica lived in Texas, he didn't know why. Lance didn't think Texas was a particularly pleasant place but Veronica had some top secret job for the government and Texas was where they wanted her.

So Lance pulled his old blue truck into her driveway late on a Sunday afternoon, the sun was beginning to set and everything was painted shades of orange, gold, and red. It reminded Lance of something but he didn't try to remember what, he knew he'd only come up empty-handed.

There were two other cars besides Veronica's parked in her driveway but Lance shrugged it off and climbed the steps up to her porch. If she had serious company he could come back later but it was probably just her best friends Charlotte and Lana.

Lance run the doorbell and waited as it rang through the house. There were footsteps and the door was swung open. Veronica stood there for a moment gaping at him before the let out a shriek and swept him into a hug.

"Oh my god!" she beamed pulling away after she's sufficiently bruised his ribs in her hug "What are you doing here?"

"I had an agriculture thing nearby I figured I surprise you with a quick visit."

"Aww. Thanks for stopping by. Come in!"

She ushered Lance inside shutting the door behind him.

"Do you want something to eat?" She asked leading him towards the living room.

"Aw nah, thanks Ronnie but I'm good. I saw you had company I don't wanna impose."

She stopped suddenly as they entered the living room and Lance rammed into her. "Oh my god, I have company."

And indeed she did have company. Sitting on her couch was none other than Takashi Shirogane and Keith Kogane along with some other guy Lance didn't recognize.

The room was filled with a moment of weird silence while Veronica's guests stared openmouthed then Veronica said in a forced cheerful voice "Um guys this is my brother Lance!"

There was an awkward beat before Takashi Shirogane was pushing himself off the couch and holding out his hand "Hi Lance, I'm Shiro." He said kindly.

"Um yeah, I know." Lance blurted out.

Shiro's eyebrows shot up "You do?" he asked sounding a little choked.

"Oh yeah, I've seen you on the news."

"Oh right." Shiro cleared his throat "Well it's nice to meet you, Lance, Veronica speaks highly of you."

"Oh um thanks?"

Shiro smiled "This is my fiancé Curtis," he said gesturing the guy Lance didn't recognize. "And my little brother Keith."

Curtis stood to shake Lance's hand with a smile and Keith followed echoing his movements but with a smile that looked considerably more pained.

"It's nice to meet you Lance," Keith said.

Lance should have responded in kind but instead, he panicked overcome but some emotion he couldn't place and so he blurted out "Your hair looks even worse in real life."

"Oh my god, Lance," Veronica hissed.

"What?" Lance asked his sister who was glaring at him "he has a mullet! Honestly, he's asking for it. Who the fuck has a mullet nowadays?"

For a moment Keith looked like he was about to cry, his eyes were glassy and Lance wondered if he'd honestly offended the guy. But then Keith let out a small laugh.

"That's not the first time I've heard that," Keith said his smile soft.

"No? Well then maybe you should think about getting a haircut."

Keith shrugged "Maybe I will."

"Wait seriously?" Lance asked.

"Sure."

"Okay, I take it back! Don't cut it, I was kidding, I like it."

Keith's eyebrows shot up "Really?"

"Yeah," Lance shrugged "It kind of suits you."

"Hm," Keith cocked his head peering at Lance like he was some kind of mystery "Thanks."

"So," Veronica said as the room settled back down again "I'm honestly a little surprised you stopped by Lance, I hadn't heard from you in forever and mama said you weren't returning her calls."

"Oh yeah, I've been busy."

"With the farm?"

"Um yeah, something like that."

Veronica's eyes narrowed "What does that mean?"

Lance shrugged.

"Did you meet someone?"

Lance sighed "For the millionth time Ronnie I'm not interested in meeting someone. Why do you always bring this up?"

"Why not?" She asked accusingly.

"I dunno, not the romantic type."

She snorted "You used to be, c'mon Lance you were the biggest flirt."

"I used to be? Ronnie, I was fourteen when I left home I definitely wasn't flirting with anyone. I was so awkward."

"Ugh no not then after."

"After?" Lance raised his eyebrows "I disappeared and then I was in a coma. I'm not sure if I was flirting but if I was you definitely weren't there to see it."

Veronica winced realizing she'd made a mistake "No you're right, of course. Sorry, I must be mixing you up with Marco."

Lance made a face "Wow, I'm insulted. Marco's on like his eighth girlfriend this year and it's only April! How could you mix him up with me?"

"We have a lot of siblings okay! Don't tell me you don't get people mixed up sometimes. Like who was it that filled the toilet with pickles when I was in 6th grade? Was it Luis or Marco or Rachel? Who knows?"

At that Lance let out a loud snort. "Actually it was me."

"What!" Veronica jumped up nearly knocking a glass of water over.

"I thought it'd be funny."

"Oh my god, Lance." She shook her head "Mama and Papa grounded us for a month because they couldn't figure out who did it, the only one who they were sure was innocent was you!"

Lance smiled wickedly.

"So why exactly did you fill the toilet with pickles?" Shiro asked looking perplexed.

"I was eleven, honestly who knows? I knew my parents wouldn't suspect me at the time and I thought it'd be fun to pit my siblings against each other. I told my parents that I thought Marco had done it and I told Marco I'd seen Veronica do it, told Veronica I'd seen Luis with the pickles that day, and so on. The all blamed each other and nobody ever suspected it was me."

"Wow," Curtis laughed "You were like a little criminal mastermind."

"Oh I don't know about that, most of my pranks were not nearly as well thought out and my siblings always busted them before I got very far. That's why my parents didn't suspect me, they didn't think I had enough skill to pull it off and hide it from them. I was always more for winging it back then." Lance shuddered "Can't imagine that now, spontaneous things never go well. Plans are best."

"But you deciding to come visit me was spontaneous." Veronica pointed out.

"Nah, I figured I'd come see you as soon as I found out the conference was nearby."

Veronica sighed "Well I think you should be spontaneous more often you could benefit from it. Fewer plans, I dunno take a risk."

The next words Lance spoke left his mouth before he could even process what they were, the felt almost like an instinct, like something deep inside him made him say them.

"Taking a risk is what got me into this situation in the first place."

It was like the air was suddenly pulled out of the room and everyone stilled.

"Um," Keith started tentatively "what situation?"

"Here." Lance's brow furrowed "Wait no- that's not uh. There? Space. Before it was all black…" Lance trailed off shaking his head. "Sorry I don't know what I'm talking about."

There was some tendril of memory on the outskirts of his mind and suddenly the sense of Déjà vu that Lance had become accustomed to was replaced by something much clearer, heat on his skin a familiar weight in his hand a gasp, a scream, fire, someone yelling his name.

Wait someone _was_ calling his name, not in the rough frantic way in his memory though but softer different.

Lance snapped out of his head with a start. Veronica was kneeling in front of him her face lined with worry.

"Lance, are you alright?"

"Oh uh yeah, I'm fine."

"That's never happened before, what was that?"

"I dunno, a memory I think."

"A memory?"

"Yeah I don't know, it was hot and I was holding something and somebody was yelling my name. There was like a fire or something. I was burning I think."

"You were—" Veronica faltered and took a deep breath "Have you remembered things before?"

Lance shook his head. "No, I get like Déjà vu sometimes, I can't normally link it to something specific but there a few times like when the sunset is really golden some days it reminds me of something and I can almost imagine sitting next to someone watching it. But it's not a real memory just a feeling. I've never got anything solid before."

Lance didn't see the upset expression that crossed over Keith's face at the mention of a moment Keith remembered but Lance had forgotten.

"Do you think you're remembering?" Veronica asked.

"I don't know," Lance said quietly.

"Do you want to? Do you want to get your memories back?"

Lance paused for a moment to think before answering "I- I'd like to know who I am."

"You know who you are, you're Lance," Veronica said her eyes sad.

"Am I? I dunno I'm kind of tired of waking up every day with an ache in my chest for people I can't remember. I've never told you this Ronnie but I'm in love with someone, I don't even know their name! Hell, I don't even know if they're alive, if the love me too. I just know that they're out there somewhere waiting for me."

"I'm sorry Lance," Veronica said softly not meeting his eyes.

"It's fine, there's nothing you can do." Lance stood up "I actually should get going I still need to check into my hotel. But I'll stop in and visit you again later if that's okay?"

"Uh," Veronica knew she wasn't going to get anything more out of Lance so she sighed and continued "That sounds great, how long are you going to be in town?"

"I was planning on heading out next week. But I'll see you soon."

"Okay, I'll see you out."

"No, no," Lance brushed her off "its fine."

"Are you sure?"

Lance rolled his eyes "I can get to the front door without your help I swear."

"Okay," Veronica huffed "Fine, I'll see you yeah?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him on the cheek "Okay, I love you."

"Love you too." Lance turned to Shiro, Curtis, and Keith "It was nice to meet you guys."

They exchanged some quick waves and then Lance was out the door making his way down the driveway.

It was dark now the orange sky had faded to a soft purple dusk and bugs were happily making their nighttime noises hidden from sight.

Lance was unlocking his truck when he heard footsteps pounding down the driveway behind him. He turned to see Keith standing behind him eyes wide and dangerous. Lance was suddenly struck by the notion that he could get lost in those eyes, get swept up by the raging wind and fire inside of them and just die in them, he was surprised to realize he'd be completely okay with that.

Keith spoke first "What if you could get them back?"

"What?"

"Your memories, what if I knew a way you might be able to get them back?"

"You know a way?"

"I have some ideas."

Lance reached inside his truck and pulled out a napkin and a pen he quickly wrote something down and then handed it to Keith. "If you _could _help me remember then I'd say that this is the hotel where I'll be staying and you should come see me tomorrow at ten."

Before Keith could say anything Lance was climbing into his truck and pulling out of the driveway leaving Keith standing there clutching the napkin with Lance's messy scrawl like it was a lifeline.


	2. Chapter 2: Pros and Cons

**Chapter 2: Pros And Cons**

Keith woke to his alarm going off at 5:30 as usual. It was still dark as he slid out of bed and clicked on his lamp the light casting shadows across his bedroom. Keith yawned then padded over to his dresser swiftly pulling on a black tank top and running shorts.

It wasn't until he'd eaten a quick breakfast and was starting his run that he suddenly remembered last night.

_Lance._

Logically Keith knew that he might see Lance again one day. After all, Veronica worked at the Garrison alongside Shiro and the Holts, not to mention the BoM often allied with the Garrison in their war relief efforts. So really it shouldn't have been as much of a shock as it was to see Veronica lead Lance into her living room.

But seeing Lance again after all these years was like being plunged into an ice bath. For a second Keith felt like he was drowning.

But as much of a shock as seeing Lance was being around him again didn't feel as monumental as it should have. In fact, it felt like being with Lance any other time Keith had been, Lance had even insulted Keith's hair for god's sake!

If it weren't for Lance's broader shoulders and tanner skin Keith wouldn't have been sure any time had passed at all since Lance was piloting Red by Keith's side.

Except it had.

Because last time Keith had seen Lance he'd been half dead and sick with grief and trauma. An image flashed through Keith's head of Lance bruised and bloodied his eyes distant as Keith held Lance's broken body against his chest. His lips trembled slightly as his eyes met Keith's the focus coming back a bit.

_"Don't leave me." _

Lance had whispered it his voice ragged.

_"Never."_

Keith had said back tears choking him.

It was a lie that still haunted Keith on his coldest loneliest nights.

Because with Keith's words Lance's eyes had closed. They didn't open again for six months but when they did Keith wasn't there. He was lightyears away on another planet.

But it turned out to be for the best anyway since Lance didn't even remember Keith anyway.

And he was never supposed to. They'd known that there was a pretty big chance that Lance could suffer memory loss. No one had expected it to be to the extent it was though. But it had worked out in Lance's favor.

He was happy now, he didn't remember any of the pain he went through.

Except, even as the thought crossed Keith's mind another image rose up contradicting it. Lance's eyes last night torn and lost as he admitted in that small voice that he didn't know who he was.

Everyone would be furious if Keith were to tell Lance about his past. That was the one thing everyone had been told they were _not _allowed to do. But… Keith wouldn't be telling Lance, he'd just be helping him remember.

Lance wanted to remember.

How could Keith deny Lance that?

But should Keith really help him? Would it do more harm than good to get Lance's memories back?

Keith was still debating it by the time he'd finished his run and was letting himself back into his apartment.

He was debating it in the shower and as he made himself a smoothie.

If Keith was Shiro he would have made a pros and cons list and carefully considered his options. But then again Shiro wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. There was no doubt that he was going to try and stay far away from Lance after last night's encounter, he _definitely_ wouldn't have chased after him and offered to help him and disobey the _one _thing they'd been asked to do.

Yeah, Keith wasn't Shiro.

So Keith went back and forth.

On one hand, he had told Lance he'd meet up with him today, but on the other hand if Keith stood Lance up it wouldn't be hard to just avoid him the rest of Keith's life.

The thought sent an unpleasant feeling down his spine. He didn't want to avoid Lance, Keith wanted to be a part of Lance's life. It was something Keith had yearned for in the years since he'd lost Lance. But Keith had thought it impossible so he tried to let it go, _now_ however after seeing Lance last night it had returned with a renewed vigor.

Keith had missed Lance, and as much as Keith had pushed it to the back of his mind, focusing on his work with the Garrison and Blade of Marmora, it was undeniable.

And it was that what pushed Keith out of his apartment at a quarter to ten to meet up with Lance.

Even as he followed the directions to the address Lance had given him Keith was having second thoughts. There was a coiling knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach which led to Keith sitting in his car for twenty minutes in the parking lot of Lance's hotel still debating whether or not to do this.

By 10:25 Keith was most definitely late as he dragged himself into the hotel and to Lance's room checking the number Lance had written down before knocking cautiously.

The door swung open and Lance looked surprised to see Keith like he hadn't invited him just the previous night.

"Uh, where you not expecting me?" Keith asked cocking his head to survey Lance's raised eyebrows and mouth shaped in a surprised 'o'.

"Um yes? I mean I was like thirty minutes ago but even then I wasn't sure you'd show up and then you didn't so… I assumed you weren't coming."

"Oh sorry," Keith scratched the back of his neck awkwardly "Some uh… stuff came up." Keith decided not to disclose the particular information that he'd been freaking out in the car for twenty minutes like a teenager on their first date.

Lance shook his head "No, no it's fine, why don't you come in, sit down?"

"Um okay, sure." Lance stepped back to allow Keith entrance into his room.

It was, uh small, if you were being kind. There was a tiny desk with an uncomfortable looking chair, and a TV perched on a set of drawers and then a single bed. There wasn't really any good place to sit.

Lance seemed to realize this at the same time as Keith because he said: "Um, you can sit on the bed I guess."

"No it's fine, I'll sit on the chair."

"Are you sure? That things basically like a torture device."

Keith shrugged sitting down "it's fine, I've been tortured before."

Lance made a strangled noise and Keith realized he probably shouldn't have said that.

"Oh sorry, that was kind of a tactless thing to say wasn't it? My social skills have always been a little lacking."

Lance shook his head "But aren't you kind of like a diplomat?" he asked perching on the bed.

Keith snorted "Nah, I do the dirty work and then just kind of stand there while other people do the diplomatic shit. Axca actually banned me from talking during most diplomatic situations. She says my job is to shake hands and then stand there and look pretty." Keith rolled his eyes "Zethrid says that I look more threatening than pretty. It's safe to say I sit out on most of that stuff."

"But I've seen you on TV, giving speeches and stuff. They're always good."

Keith shrugged "Thanks, but talking to big groups of people about something I'm passionate about is easy, making one-on-one conversation when I don't already know what I'm going to be saying is a lot harder. I tend to uh, anger people."

Lance hummed "Yeah I could see that."

Keith had to stop himself from laughing. Lance had no idea that he used to be one of those people Keith angered so much.

"Anyways, the reason I'm here?"

"Right," Lance seemed to come into himself a shadow passing over his face "my memory."

"Yeah."

"You can help me get it back?"

"I-" Keith took a deep breath, "I can't make any promises, but I'm going to try my very best."

"How?"

"Well, I think your memories can be triggered. You were talking about déjà vu last night and how certain things triggered it. So if we found things that could connect you to your past then I think you might start to remember."

"But Keith," Lance said running his fingers through his hair "the thing is _I don't remember_. How are we supposed to find things that are from my past or connected to it if I can't remember my past?"

"Well, maybe you don't remember but there are some people who would remember parts of it."

"What do you mean? Who?"

"I…" Keith hesitated biting his lip.

"Keith!" Lance said jumping up to stand in front of him.

Keith sighed looking up at Lance, he made the decision before he could change his mind.

"I went to the Garrison with you, we were cadets together."

Chapter three: Moths And Their Flames

There was a beat of silence and then Lance spoke. "That makes sense."

"Does it?" Keith seemed surprised by Lance's lack of surprise.

"Yeah. I knew the first time I saw you on TV that I knew you. I mean I couldn't be sure but you were so familiar, so yeah, it makes sense."

Keith nodded and Lance could tell there was something important going on in his head. Lance didn't ask though, instead, he said: "Were we friends then?"

"Um…" Keith bit his lip seemingly unsure of how to answer "Well it was kind of _complicated_." Keith said the word like it meant something more than its definition, a mirthless smile gracing his lips for half a second before it vanished.

"I take it you're not going to elaborate?"

Keith shook his head "I can't tell you things about yourself, I'll probably get things wrong and I don't want to give you false images. We'll just have to get you to remember."

"Okay, okay, fine." Lance huffed "But are we friends now?"

"I-" Keith looked taken aback for a moment by the change in boomerang in the conversation "I mean, yeah? If you want to be."

"Of course I want to be. If you're going to be helping me get my memories back we can't not be friends!"

The corners of Keith's lips curled up just the slightest bit "No, of course not."

"Good. Well, then my first official business as your friend is to say that we need to go get breakfast. Or brunch I guess? It's kind of late now."

"Wait now? Don't you want to work on getting your memories back?"

Lance snorted, typical Keith, right down to business "C'mon I've waited this long a little longer won't kill me."

"Um okay, sure?"

"Okay!" Lance flashed Keith a smile "So, know anywhere good to eat around here?"

Keith had taken Lance to a small dinner in basically the middle of the desert. Despite how old and a little shabby it was, the food was good. Lance voiced this to Keith scarfing down his grill cheese sandwich while Keith carefully picked at his own food.

"Hm yeah, this place is the best. I used to come here with Shiro when I was younger. We haven't been since the war ended though."

"How come?"

Keith shrugged "Dunno, guess it's partly my fault, I've been away from Earth for the most part since the war ended. And I don't think Shiro comes here often without me."

"Why did you decide to leave?" Lance asked suddenly.

Keith considered Lance's question for a moment before speaking. "It was where I needed to be I guess. I mean before Voltron I didn't have anyone really besides Shiro and then I went to space and I found myself a place, as the leader of Voltron, as a son, a friend. When the time the war ended I could have stayed on Earth with Shiro but I didn't want to. I was needed other places."

"And you didn't miss it? Man, I imagine if I was in space for that long I'd get so homesick."

A pained expression crossed Keith's face but it fell away before Lance could figure out what it meant. "I mean a bit I guess. I missed Shiro. And I guess once I'd entertained the idea of staying on Earth when the war was over but I, uh lost my reason for staying." He shrugged.

"Your reason for staying?"

"Yeah," Keith cleared his throat, "I had someone who was here. But they're _gone _now." Keith fiddled with his napkin not meeting Lance's eyes.

"_Oh_," Lance said softly "I'm sorry."

"Thanks but it's fine. It was a long time ago."

Lance decided not to point out that it didn't seem like it was fine. Instead, he asked: "Okay, but you're back now, How come?"

"What's up with the interrogation?" Keith asked pursing his lips.

Lance shrugged "It's not meant to be an interrogation, I'm just curious."

Keith huffed under his breath "You always were."

Deicing to ignore that Lance asked again "So? What brought you back to boring ol' Earth after all this time?"

"The Garrison needed my help with a project, Shiro wanted me to be an instructor for flight classes plus he's getting married soon. Space was where I needed to be then, I needed to be here now. My instincts are usually right and so when they were telling me to come back I listened. Guess they were right because it led me to you."

"You're a flight instructor?"

"Wow, Of course, that was the only thing you got out of that. Yes, Lance, I am."

"So you teach kids then?"

"The cadets yes."

"Aww, Keith that's so cute! Who knew you were a softie at heart?"

Keith scowled "Shut up."

"Aw, is wittle Mwullet emwbarrassed?"

"I swear to god Lance, if you keep this up I'm leaving and you can go get your memories back on your own."

"Okay okay, fine!" Lance said putting his hands up in surrender.

Keith rolled his eyes then turned to look around the dinner "Where our waitress?" he asked, "I didn't get the check yet."

Like magic as he spoke the words a waitress appeared. "Keith!" She said smiling brightly.

"Hey, Sally," Keith responded, he barely smiled but his eyes were lit in that soft purple way where you could just tell he was happy.

"I didn't realize you were here! I would have asked Alisha to swap tables with me if I'd known."

Keith chuckled "It's cool, I didn't know you were still working here."

"Indeed I am. Now how have you been? Last time I saw you was just what, six months after the war ended?" She smiled fondly "Only the second day we were open, had just got the place back into working order after the Galra's reign on Earth, you were in here ordering the same thing you would order at thirteen. It was like a blast from the past, right down to the fiery anger you always carried with you. You don't seem so distraught anymore though, you've been better?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah."

She smiled kindly "That's good to hear, and who's your friend?"

"Oh Sally, this is Lance."

"Nice to meet you, Lance." She reached out her hand and he was reminded for a moment of his own mama as she shook his hand so kindly and sweetly. "How do you know Keith?"

"We went to the Garrison together."

As the words left his lips Lance knew they were true, the felt more real than anything else he knew. He _had_ gone to the Garrison with Keith.

Lance could see clearly Keith, younger and scrawnier with a bloody lip and a fire in his eyes that both scared Lance and drew him in like a moth to a flame. And Lance remembered.

Jealousy, spite, frustration. Keith was everything Lance wanted to be, Shiro's favorite, naturally talented, "a prodigy" classmates and instructors alike would whisper in awe. People threw themselves at him, everyone just wanted a taste of Keith Kogane. But not Lance, no he hated Keith,_ Lance_ was the only one who saw through Keith.

That's what Lance told himself at least, but losing the memories and getting them back again but things in perspective a little. Lance didn't want to_ be_ Keith he _wanted_ him. He wanted a boy who burned brighter than the sun but never even spared Lance a second glance. And that had hurt him so he'd pretended to hate Keith. And maybe it wasn't all pretend because now Lance could feel the shadow of resentment from long ago bubbling under his skin he could understand why his past self had resented Keith. The guy was everything Lance wished he could be back in the days where he hated his own skin. He wanted to be somebody, but instead, he was just Lance, he was average. He didn't have a _thing_ or a special talent.

And it was weird to feel these ghosts of feeling he didn't feel anymore, but it was weirder to feel the ones he still felt.

An image flashed through his mind of Keith.

Keith standing in front of Lance inches apart nose to nose, lit from behind by a blazing fire. His lips bitten and bloody, his eyes sparkling with tears that were spilling out tracing paths down his cheeks. Breath coming out in gasps and hands shaking.

_"Lance." _He'd whispered jagged, hot, and broken like he couldn't decide if it was a curse or a prayer.

And Lance needed to help him, to steady his shaking hands, dry his eyes and tame the fire that was threatening to engulf them both. But before Lance could reach for him he was gone, just like in every dream Lance had, slipping just out of reach.

Lance blinked and he was back in the present the past slipping away to a darker more comfortable part of his mind.

"Lance?" Keith was leaning forward across the table concern etched on his face.

In that moment Lance was struck by the differences between this Keith and the one he'd just seen in his head. This Keith was closed off, the fire in him contained, walls up. And he knew, he knew exactly what had been happening in that memory, hell Lance was pretty sure Keith had the answers to everything Lance wanted to know he just kept them to himself.

Lance pushed himself up and tore out of the dinner leaving a concerned Keith and bewildered waitress behind him. But when Lance got outside he was hit by a familiar smell of the desert air and it reminded him of _something_. The same way the golden sunsets did, turning the dull ache for someone inside of him into a white-hot painful yearning. He collapsed on the worn curb gasping for breath but getting only lungfuls of dust. He was choking and for a moment Lance thought he was going to suffocate when there was a warm hand on his shoulder.

Lance didn't even realize he was crying until his tears were being wiped away as Keith softly cupped Lance's face in his hand.

"Hey," he whispered impossibly soft.

Lance wanted to push him away but at the same time he didn't think he physically could, so acting purely on instinct Lance pulled Keith closer. His arms wrapped around Lance's waist a little timid at first but quickly relaxing as Lance buried his head into Keith's shoulder.

Like a moth drawn to a flame.


End file.
